this was the skit that we watched after the workshops
Today we got a day off from work to go to the very first
Senior Missionary Zone Conference. We loved every minute of it. The theme was Finding Ourselves By Giving To Others. We have two Missionaries who are psychiatrists by trade and they shared with us ways to be closer as couples or to our companions if you are a single sister, and how to learn better communication and coping skills. Two things we sure needed to hear about. The statement was made that "Joy does not come from the accomplishment itself but comes from within."
In one of the workshops we covered conflict resolution which has 3 levels of thinking. We were able to put ourselves into one of those categories through self assesment. Just for fun, see where you are at
Level #1 Concrete thinker- This person thinks there is only one solution to a problem, which leads to conflict, debating, defensiveness, close mindedness, struggles, resistance and distancing. This person gets frustrated, has anxieties, gets discouraged, feels hopeless, rejected, isolated and resentful. More serious problems arise as they would criticize, show anger, hostility, physical and emotional abuse.
Level #2 Dualistic Thinking- Very similar to the concrete thinker but are not as opinionated or close minded but still committed to their ideals or wishes.
Level #3 Relative Thinkers- These people are more open minded, more creative, exploratory, seeks alternatives, wants mutual respect, is more concerned for the other person and more willing to listen. They have a willingness to problem solve and work together. They will negotiate and have a sense of cooperation. They generate a feeling of caring one for another.
Of course, we would all like to be a level 3 thinker, but are we? Think about it. We all fall some where within this realm of thinking. Our second workshop was on being a Peacemaker" Elder Christensen of the 70's said, " Any intelligent couple will have difference of opinion. Our challenge is to be sure that we know how to resolve these differences."
Allowing a disagreement to escalate into contentions is like allowing the situation to "canker our souls" He quoted 3 Nephi 11:29 "He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another,"
From a national study surveying over 600 midlife couples between the ages of 40-50, most of the couples were happily married. They reported that the top most common problem they wrestled with was communications and power/leadership struggles. That was an interesting thought to me.
We were told to keep plenty of money in our relationship emotional bank account. Positive interactions of love create deposits and negative interactions and criticism create withdrawals. Often times disagreements indicate emotional bankruptcy or too few deposits and too many withdrawals. A couple who maintains a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions are able to maintain loving relationships. A quotation was given from Mathew 5:9 "Blessed are the Peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God". One last thought they left with us that I thought was very good advice, " You don't have to blow out your partner's candle in order to light your own." That about sums up our workshops. Hope you were able to get some good information from all of this.
After the conference we had a great catered lunch of authentic German food. As you can see, Germans love to use sauces which makes me extremely happy. They make their own special sauces to go on each kind of meet. If I find out how to make some of them, I will be sure and let Sis. Anderson know so you can all enjoy a little taste of Germany. We were also treated to an impromptu skit which had us all cracking up. I tried to take pictures of all of our good times hope you can feel the fun that was had by all. Missions are great, prepare for your own. The Walters
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